I am a very lucky man – I’ve got an amazing wife and am the father to three wonderful kids. Lylli was born on Halloween in 2008, Gracie was born November 2010 and although she only lived for 17 months, she will remain as much a part of this family as the rest of us, and Mickey Gray, our first son, was born in June of 2012. I’m not going to say that life has gone exactly as I would have wanted, but it is a good life and I am determined to make the best of it.

This blog is an attempt to document my quest to become a dad that my family can be proud of.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Sunshine On My Shoulders Makes Me Happy

What a beautiful day yesterday!!  73 degrees in MN on March 14th – Even I can’t complain about that.  It was almost a little warm.   It made me think a bit about what I’ll be up against in the dog days of summer.  Last night I joined my buddy Dave for our scheduled Wednesday night run.  This is going to be very much a mental game for me – I’m still over 300 lbs and with that comes the additional aches and pains when trying to turn someone my size into a runner.  I was talking about how I realistically need to lose at least 80 lbs before the marathon and that even if I lose 25 lbs, I’ll still be 280.  Dave made a good point - he said every pound counts and when I think about how 25 is just a drop in the bucket, to consider carrying a 25 lb bag of dog food with me as I ran.  That said,  all of you guys annoyed by my presence at the organized 7k run this weekend, imagine throwing your mother-in-law on your back and trying to run a 7K – that’s where I’m at - so I’ll try to stay out of your way, but please think of me being out there as something positive as opposed to something in your way.  Anyway, I was starting to say that the hardest part about this training will be the mental aspect.  I’m not able to run the whole distance that I’m tasked with in the plan yet, so I’ve decided that I will only count towards my assigned distance when I’m actually running – last night, including a half mile warm-up walk and a small cool down walk, it took us 4.6 miles (and over an hour) to accomplish running 3 miles.  At one point, I was whining so much that Dave yelled over to me “knock it off”.  This is tough on the ego for a guy like me – If this was pushing through one more shoulder press, dead-life, or squat I could do it – that is something I am used to (or used to be used to).  But pushing through the mental great wall of China that I have in my head as soon as I get out of my comfort zone when running is going to be the hardest part.  I don’t know if this is a weakness that I’ve always had or I’ve slowly evolved to this point, but I don’t like it and plan to face it head on until I am no longer the guy that gives up.  Pushing on while being tired from a run is nothing compared to what my daughter Gracie has done - she has shown us how to not give up and I need to remember that when I'm feeling sorry for myself midrun.  I’m pretty sure it wasn’t much of a workout for Dave (and I need to start learning to not apologize for that fact so often), but for where I’m at, it was a pretty good workout and I promised him that I’ll be a little better every time we meet– I’m even a little sore today – the good kind of sore.  I’ve been so good at having huge ideas and not following through with them – so much so that it makes me embarrassed and ashamed.  I was proud of myself when I drove away from his house – I’m going to do this 


  1. You're an inspiration! you can do this! Keep up the good work and keep your eye on the prize!

  2. In the words of Winston Churchill, "Never, never, never give up."