I am a very lucky man – I’ve got an amazing wife and am the father to three wonderful kids. Lylli was born on Halloween in 2008, Gracie was born November 2010 and although she only lived for 17 months, she will remain as much a part of this family as the rest of us, and Mickey Gray, our first son, was born in June of 2012. I’m not going to say that life has gone exactly as I would have wanted, but it is a good life and I am determined to make the best of it.

This blog is an attempt to document my quest to become a dad that my family can be proud of.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I've never hurt more than when I see my daughter hurt

This last weekend was tough on friday evening we had to bring my daughter into the ER because she was inconsolable - was screaming for 2 hours and nothing helped - turned out it was probably gas -- she was pretty lethargic on Saturday.  On sunday evening she was wheezing, so after a few calls to the experts, we found ourselves back in the ER at 6:30 pm.  At one point there were four people in the room all wanting to do some sort of test or procedure on my baby.  she was screaming as they held her down.  It was at that point that I realized that with this baby my life will never be the same -- I felt more pain at that instant than I ever have before.  The doctor said the chest x-ray showed a little pneumonia and she also tested positive for RSV.  They checked us into the hospital around 12:30.  I ran home and let the dogs out and got back to the hospital around 1:30.  My amazing wife knew that Lylli would prefer to sleep in her arms, so she somehow managed to climb into this tiny crib and held our baby in her arms while she was hooked up to four probes and oxygen -- around 4 in the morning the nurse finally brought a larger bed and made us promise to take responsibility that she doesn't fall out.  I slept in a recliner in the corner.  my sister in law was able to take care to of the dogs in the morning -- Monday afternoon I went home and gathered some things for our stay, took a shower and played with the dogs a bit and then headed back up to the hospital to spend the night.  Lylli has been getting mucous vacuumed out of her nose and a nebulizer treatment every four hours.  she also has had oxygen fed to her in a "blow by" tube to keep her oxygen levels up.  The antibiotics she was on caused her to have some blood in her diaper, but that issue has been corrected.  Unfortunately with the roads being the way they are, I had to come home tonight because Carrie's sister couln't make it back here from Burnsville.  It is killing me to not be there with them, but its the best for the dogs -- I have to go into the office tomorrow.  The doctor told us this morning that we should plan on having our new years celebration in the hospital, so hopefully she'll be coming home with us on Thursday.  This sure puts things into perspective.  I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to either of them, but know that I am a very lucky man.    

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas

Well the workouts are getting a bit tougher (pathetic I know, but you've
got to start somewhere). Last night was plenty tough, in my defense,
the streets were full of snow and that made it harder -- my legs and
calves got pretty tired at the end. I am on week four of the program --
last night I walked for a few minutes and then jogged for 1/4 mile,
walked for a bit, jogged 1/2 mile, walked a bit, jogged 1/4 mile, walked
a bit, jogged 1/2 mile, and then walked home. Felt great when I was
done, but realized that I've got a long road ahead of me. And to top it
off, I ate so much when I got home that I weighed more than I have in
awhile. That's not good considering today is Christmas Eve and the
eating has is just starting and I'm obligated to perform -- I can't let
my family and friends down -- I know they all double their recipes
because I'll be there. Oh well, this running will shed the pounds
eventually, or I'll be the most in shape fat guy you'll see.. Merry

Monday, December 22, 2008

Appliance Delivery

So far, I have managed to manage all of the logistics for the day -- my
wife was able to meet the plumber at the house before going to a meeting
-- he is doing his thing. So of course my snowblower broke and any
shoveling will need to be done by hand -- because of how busy I was all
weekend, not to mention how cold it was, I didn't have a chance to
shovel the driveway -- of course we have had to drive over it many times
causing it to be very packed down. Got a call from Appliancesmart --
they are delivering our new washer and dryer tomorrow -- the lady
confirms the delivery time frame and just as we are about to hang up,
she says "Make sure that the walkways and driveway is snow free or they
won't deliver". -- GREAT! Do now I had to track down some clown with a
plow to spend less than 5 minutes on my driveway. The guy knows I'm
desperate so he's charging me $30 -- nice just put it on the list with
the other $800 I'm spending today and the $1200 tomorrow.

Silent Night, Yeah Right

Friday night I stopped at Target in Columbia Heights on my way home to
get a few things -- Yikes, Rough crowd -- felt like a Wal-Mart-- it was
a complete zoo and half of the stuff I stopped there for was sold out --
had to stand and wait for some yahoo to bring me mini cupcake cups for
over 20 minutes -- had to stop at Walgreens to pick up Corn Flakes and
specific candies for the wife's cupcake project. Got home and made some
steaks and twice baked potatoes as well as a couple large rum and diets.
The wife and I opened gifts -- I got some really cool things with pics
of the baby for my office, a Nike + watch that I wanted that works with
my iPod thing , and a gift card for sportsman's warehouse so I can get
some new fishing gear for the cabin. Ate terrible (There were milky
ways and snickers in my stocking). Saturday I delivered the Santa suit
to Petsmart, stopped by Borders for a book, and went to Wal-Mart -- once
again a zoo - nothing ruins the Christmas spirit faster than walking
into someone's gas bomb every aisle while trying to find a pair of white
gloves for the Santa suit and a generic onesie for under the kids
Christmas outfit. I made it home and prepared the appetizers for the
festivities that night. When it was almost time to leave for the party,
I walked out to start the car and the battery was dead in the wife's car
- I drove it that morning and hit the fog lights with my knee when I got
out -- completely drained the battery -- so in the middle of the
snowstorm, in my chuck Taylors I had to push the Malibu into the
unshoveled driveway - got it stuck just out of the garage so I had to
drive my Honda into the yard because the batteries of course are on
opposite sides which would have worked perfectly if they weren't on the
wrong sides of the driveway -- had to walk around in knee deep snow to
accomplish this -- finally got jumped the Malibu and got it going,
reparked the Honda and couldn't close the hood -- luckily, yesterday I
was able to close it for my lovely commute into Minneapolis this
morning. Drove out to my mom's and did the Christmas thing. Always an
uncomfortable event, but cool because everybody is excited to see the
kid. Sunday, the wife and kid went to Burnsville to make Cookies with
her mom and sister. I stayed home and tore apart the basement laundry
room and shower in the bathroom while watching/listening to football.
I, for the life of me, cannot figure out how a dead bird was in the wall
behind the shower stall. Wife was going to pickup dinner so I waited
until she got home before going to Menards for my list of items I needed
for Pete today, especially the plug I needed for the gas line so I could
unplug the dryer and move it out of his way. She finally got home at 7
-- I walked up stairs thinking I'd eat and talk to her for a couple of
minutes, change and then head up to the store. The baby was screaming
-- she said because of that she didn't pick up dinner so told me to go
so I can hurry back. Ticked me off because I had planned on spending
some time at Menards, so I got mad and left -- sprinted through Menards
and stopped at taco bell for her. Got home and the plug I bought for
the gas line was too small. I was crabby and she was too -- not a good
night. Wife and kid are back in the bedroom now, so I get woken up
several times, but she still deals with it, so I'm blessed there. This
morning she told me to work on my attitude. Me? Attitude? At first I
got mad, but took some time and yeah, Ok, I'm a crabby SOB and need to
work on it. Pete, the plumber is at our place as I type, probably
swearing at me because of the lack of direction. Washer and dryer come
tomorrow -- hopefully it works out. Bottom line -- weekend recap -->
poor eating, bad attitude, and no running. Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 19, 2008

HO - Ho - Hostess!!

Well I made it 7 weeks. Lylli is 7 weeks old today - My wife and daughter slept on the couch in the living room for seven weeks leaving me the bed to myself. I've been warned that tonight they're coming back in. Oh well, it was one heck of a run and lets be honest, most guys would have had to move to the couch thmesleves or at the very least would have never gotten that much time, so I'll count my blessings. I took the dogs for a walk last night -- turned it into a run -- not a very long one, but I'm going to count it nonetheless. Tonight is Christmas at the Delaney's -- just the three of us and toys/bones for the dogs. I already gave Carrie her camera so her fun tonight will basically consist of watching me open gifts -- sometimes I start to wonder if I'm really as big of a jerk as it comes out when I explain these things. Got Christmas at my mom's place tomorrow night and bringing the kid to see Santa. I was going to go to the game on Sunday, but with. Pete. the plumber coming on Monday, I now will spend my Sunday listening to the game while I tear out the basement shower and some sheetrock.

The diet is not going well -- didn't make my goal weight this week, but like I said before, hopefully It'll catch up eventually -- probably not when I eat a banana chocolate chip muffin for breakfast and a greasy burger and fries from L Phillips for lunch -- but what could I do, my step-brother was buying - don't blame me - blame Christmas!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

My lower back is hurting this morning, either from running two days ago
or carrying around my dog Bodey. Oh well, not bad enough to use as an
excuse, but I'm starting to wonder if 36 is the year where I really
start to feel old -- great year to try and learn how to run! I'm doing
some electrical stuff at my house tonight (OK, my buddy is and I'll try
not to get in the way), so I probably won't be able to run - If we're
done early enough, I may try to run outside with the dogs because its
supposed to be much warmer today than the last couple. Otherwise it'll
be tomorrow and one of the days this weekend. Weighed 287.5 this
morning, but will probably be back at 290 tonight -- my goal was 285
tomorrow, so I'm getting close - hopefully one of these weeks when the
running time gets extended, I'll finally catch up. Pete, the plumber,
stopped by last night and we devised a plan for the basement bath and
laundry room so Sunday will be spent tearing out the shower and getting
ready for him next week. Friday and Saturday nights are Christmas
events and Saturday during the day we're bringing Lylli to the pet
rescue's Santa event (I'm not playing Santa this year because the
schedule didn't work). We're also going to watch Todd's kids test in
Tai Kwan Do -- Makayla just turned 9 - the belt she is testing for is
one degree below her black and Zak's is two degrees -- If it goes as
planned Makayla could have her black belt before the spring and Zak
could test for his black belt this summer (before he turns 6!!). All of
this news about housing and the cost to build being low is making me
think that we should build something in the spring -- I'm going to look
into this more after I get the basement bath and laundry in order --
despite all that I've done to my house, it may be best just to do enough
so I can get what I owe on it and then buy something else -- since I'll
be buying up from what I have, once the market rebounds, the gains would
be exponential to the value of the house and I would probably make out
better buying someone else's $250,000 place or building on cheap land
since they probably spent $100,000+ more for it a few years ago. There
will be lots of hurdles in this effort since we'll probably have to
qualify for both house and move to the new one before we sell the one
we're in -- we'd never be able to sell it with 5 dogs!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Got a call when I was about 3 minutes from home last night from my wife
asking if she could leave the kid with me for a bit while she ran some
errands. She's been with my daughter 24 x 7 since she's been born with
the exception of the three hours we left her with my mom to catch a
movie. She left at 5:30 -- the moment she stepped out of the door, the
baby fills her diaper causing her to become fussy -- I am more than
capable, at this point, of taking care of that, so I managed to change
her diaper and her clothes because of a little leakage. I finally
finished the change and the baby started crying -- I went to the fridge
because the wife said she left some breast milk in there for me. It was
frozen solid -- so as the baby was screaming I attempted to thaw out the
milk by running hot water over it -- doesn't work -- I walked around,
rocked her, whatever I could think of and the baby wouldn't stop
screaming -- it wasn't just the "let daddy know that something's wrong
cry" -- there were actual tears coming out and she was screaming for so
long and hard that she started getting hoarse - in the mean time, it got
to be 6 o'clock in which at that time each night, my dogs go ballistic
because they know its time for dinner -- after attempting to thaw two
different milk things from the freezer, it became obvious that she
wouldn't even take a bottle from me. I had to call my wife and say "GET
HOME NOW" -- I then hung up and tried to settle her and the dogs down --
of course nothing worked until my wife walked in the door - She held her
and within a minute or so, she was resting quietly -- Not a fun
experience. On a brighter note -- the Eye-fi SD card came for her
camera yesterday -- works amazing -- she can now take a picture and it
automatically uploads to a folder on her computer with that days date
without any chords or anything -- very cool. Was not able to run last
night -- so I will be starting week 3 of the couch potato to 5K program
tonight -- this will be timed out perfectly to have me ready for the 5K
in Chisago City on Jan 31st.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Well the weekend went about as planned -- I went up to the Y on Friday
and signed up -- you'd think as many times as I've started and quit
there that there would be a quicker way to sign back up (And do I really
look like I want you to give me run down of the Latin Dance class
schedule?). I finally got upstairs and walked the track a couple of
times and then ran a couple miles alternating walking and running. The
bad news is that my ipod nike + deal had me thinking that miles were a
little shorter than the 10 laps per mile at the Y. Apparently it isn't
calibrated for a 300 pounder with a 28 inch inseam. The run went OK --
I'm out of shape, but lumbered along just fine. I got home just in time
for my wife to come home with some food for me. We got the whole crew
organized and watched "Fred Claus". Woke up on Saturday raring to get
some things done -- with the baby, we are not exactly super efficient at
leaving the house yet, so we didn't leave until after 1 O'clock. We
went to Appliancesmart, walked in and let old Norm talk us into the
lovely Whirlpool set they had sitting right at the entrance for obvious
reasons. We were pretty happy with the whole deal (that is until I went
home and realized that I have a gas dryer and just bought an electric --
but a phone call on Sunday morning and some more money should have that
issue all taken care of). Carrie was pretty happy when Norm, the sales guy singled her out and said to me that without the agitater in the front load machine, it'll have all the room she'll need. After Appliancesmart we went to Fleet Farm in
search of some gifts for the many horse people on our gift list. Burger
King, Northtown, The Tailor, Drycleaners, Kohl's -- then finally home.
We made dinner - I had a gigantic Rum and coke while we wrapped gifts
and watched another movie that I streamed from Netflix through the
laptop onto the TV -- Sure it was "Lean On Me" from 20 years ago, but I
think I'm going to like the ability to get movies that way. On Sunday I
woke up and went to National Camera to pickup the wife's Christmas gift.
I've been doing a lot of research and bought her a new SLR camera. When
I got home she was doing a little makeshift photo shoot with our baby,
so I ended up giving it to her early so she can learn how to use it before our many Christmases (we were going to exchange gifts this Friday
anyway). I better make this running thing work or there will be an
endless supply of pictures of Fat Rich in 10+ megapixel glory... Pretty
boring entry, but an entry, none-the-less

Friday, December 12, 2008

Its Finally Friday...

Gone are the days where a Friday night meant hurrying home to find the
location where friends would be meeting to visit and have some
cocktails. This Friday consists of driving my hand-me-down green
station wagon with the fogged up windows and the check engine light on
out of the city that is starting to liven up with the vibe of those
looking to have an exciting Friday night. Not me - I'll be driving
north to my house full of stinky dogs looking for attention. I will
pick up whatever mess they have made, whether it be #1, #2, or a
shredded rug. I will then change into some grubbier clothes and try to
keep them dog hair and drool free until I leave. Today my wife and
daughter are at the Mall of America. They are meeting her parents and
sister for dinner so they can get their fix of seeing the baby. I will
more than likely have an orange-stain bottomed Tupperware container
filled with the beef strognaoff-esque leftovers from last night. My
excitement for the night will be going to the YMCA and signing up so I
can attempt to waddle in a hurry around the track a couple of times
before holding my side and wheezing all while being mortified every time
I make eye contact with the many fit people lapping me at Mach 5. All
the while remembering back to the day when I had to quit the Y because
they didn't have enough weight for me -- now I'm just hoping they let me
use the ellipticals (there's got to be some weight limit, got knows the
Wii fit in my basement sweats every time the console turns on). I will
then return to my house and wait for the arrival of my wife and daughter
and hope she was not super hungry so I can pout until she lets me eat
whatever leftovers she has in her little white foam box from Tony
Roma's. She will be tired and won't be able to keep her eyes open much
later than, the now midnight like, 9:45. I will no doubt go to bed
early because I'm sulking and board, besides I'll need to prepare for
my exciting day of cleaning out the laundry room and basement bathroom,
not to mention going to Appliancesmart searching for a washer and dryer
that doesn't break the bank. Good Times...

Well so much for that

I told myself that I was going to weigh in on Fridays, so I did and was
290 again. So much for having the 290's behind me -- oh well, I am
going to run tonight and am also signing up for the Y and will run again
this weekend too. Its week 1 of the 5K training, so its pretty easy,
but its as much to get my shins in shape as it is my cardio, so I need
to take it slow. Hopefully I can catch up with my weight loss plan
eventually. According to my plan, I was supposed to be 287 today and
285 by the 19th. Chimo if you're reading this, I think you should train
for this with me -- we never see each other anymore and very rarely
talk. I think it would be a good way to reconnect and an accomplishment
that you know we would be very proud of -- I'd love to go through it
with you -- think about it

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Bye Bye 290's (hopefully)

I weighed myself this morning and was 289. Hopefully the 290's are
behind me, but with Christmas coming, I'm not super optimistic. I
officially told the manager of my Tuesday night softball team that I was
not playing this year so I could concentrate on losing weight and
running. I talked to the YMCA and they are running a no initiation deal
right now, so I will be signing up there before the end of the week.
Getting all of my ducks in a row for this thing -- I sure hope I can
follow through this time...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The Search is on...

Its my intention to participate in at least one event each month next
year -- I won't quite be ready for a 5K in January, but will do the race
up the place on January 31st - it's a fundraiser where you walk up about
600 stairs. February is the valentines day 5K around Lake Harriet - I
hope to be ready for this one. March 14th is the Human Race. April is
the Running of the Pigs at Midway stadium with presented by the St Paul
Saints (I wonder if I'll be the biggest pig there?). I have not found
anything for may yet and I'm going to be optimistic and hope that I'll
be ready for a half marathon in June.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Well I did it - sort of -- today was my first day of running -- drove home in the blizzard and found my ipod and put on some clothes - grabbed my dog and headed out in the snow for a very short run -- I only ran a little over a mile, but made sure I ran almost all of it (walk briefly at he beginning and end, but ran the rest -- way further than I thought I could.  I know that's brutal for most folks, but a 9:30 minute mile felt like a good start for me -- my lungs and shins are sore, but I feel good.  I really need to do this thing for my wife and daughter, but mostly for myself -- I'm capable of great things and I'm sick of selling myself short -- this journey is going to be long and very hard for a short middle aged fat guy, but if I can do it, I'll be so proud of myself and just might get healthy along the way - 5K, here I come!  

Let me summarize my Life

I bought a new powerful amplified antenna for the TV since we cancelled
our dish network because of issues with the receiver -- a minute after
setting it up, I was moving around the rabbit ears and snapped one off
-- Thanksgiving week, I paid to get a faster internet service and they
changed something that appears to have slowed down my service (not quite
worth the extra $10 a month for slower service). Last week we got to
pay a plumber to fix our kitchen sink drain that was leaking all over
the inside of my custom kitchen cabinets - My wife also vacuumed up a
sharpee which in turn broke our expensive vacuum -- yesterday, my wife's
car got a flat while we were in Burnsville in the middle of a pretty
hefty snowfall -- this confirms that we need to replace her tires before
the real winter comes. It's a good thing we waited until the day after
the sale to do it. After fighting with the people at LA Fitness today
to opt out of my "No Commitment" membership -- I am lucky enough to get
to pay for three months for a membership that I used 3 times. This goes
wonderfully with my ATT cell bill which has somehow been $170 for months
without me realizing it. And to top off the day (well as of now that
is), I just got a call saying that the washing machine is broke and
leaking water everywhere. That will work out wonderfully since my dogs
have decided that the poop is in season and no less than 3 times a day,
I find one of them has rubbed poo-flavored slobber on my pants leg --
not too mention, my pitbull decided to take a whiz on my laptop backpack
which contained my Wii.

The First Monday of the Rest of my Life

Well today's the big day -- day 1 of my "Couch Potato to 5K" program.
Not sure when I'll fit it in since I didn't get out of bed early enough
to do it this morning and I've got to watch the two hour series finale
of Boston Legal tonight, but its only a "Brisk five-minute warm-up walk.
Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a
total of 20 minutes". The weekend, once again was filled with several
restaurants and unhealthy treats - hopefully once I start exercising and
seeing results it will curb my cravings for junk food or at least
counter act the effects. As I was laying in bed last night fighting
for position and some covers with 3 dogs and a mastiff laying beside me
on the floor snoring as my wife and daughter sleep on the couch in the
living room, I was thinking about how I would run this winter -- I
already belong to two gyms that have no running track -- I think I've
decided to quit LA Fitness and move to the YMCA -- I can't quit the
other one because I'm locked in for another 6 months or more -- The Y
has a track and family locker rooms so I don't have to spend my morning
with the 70 year old naked guy reading the paper in a lawn chair by the
shower. Not quite sure how I'm going to pull this off with the wife,
but I'll figure something out. Until then I guess its outside in the
cold or the treadmill at the health club. My first goal on the horizon
is the Human Race 5K on March 14th

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Um sir -- I'm sorry, we don't carry your size here - however, the Big and Tall store next door has a great selection of elastic waist pants

You know, I truly can't believe I am in this position today. I have
gotten so fat that the retail stores can't clothe me. For some time,
I've had to rummage around the bottom of the racks at the stores looking
for the hard to find 40 x 30's (of which are even too long, but what's a
guy to do when he's got the leg length of mini me and the torso of Shaq?). I thought to prepare for my new upcoming contract I would
finally go shopping for some clothes -- This has not been fun for me for
some time, but this last time was the worst. In my optimism, I hoped to
not have to wear baggy and jumbo sized clothing for too long, so I
didn't want to spend a lot of money since I'd obvious be buying the
tailored pants in size 34 in a matter of months (that's how my twisted
mind works) -- I cut a coupon out of the paper and thought I would
checkout the new Herbergers in the mall by the house. I meandered
through rows of clothes (which incidentally are way too narrow for my
shoulders not to knock items off the racks constantly). As I wandered,
I grabbed a few pairs of dress pants (sized 40). I also stumbled upon
some collared shirts that I figured I could wear with a pair of loafers
and some nicer jeans for a more casual, yet still accepted look in the
Wells Fargo Environment. I walked past the fitting rooms between the
men's and children's clothing because I felt like some sort of a weirdo
going in there -- had the fear that I'd hear "Honey come here, we'll
just try those Osh Kosh B'gosh on at home" out of the mouth of a
concerned mother that watched the fat sweaty guy with the Chuck taylors
on slipping into fitting room #2 -- After finding a fitting room in a
more comfortable location I slipped out of my jeans to try on my new
found treasures and found that I could not come close to buttoning them
and to make matters worse -- the buttons on the XXL collared shirts
formed that stretched out look between the buttons that happens when a
well endowed woman wears a button up shirt -- needless to say, it was
far less sexy on me. I was mortified, but bought the shirts anyway...

I'll take a #2 and #3 and two extra cheeseburgers, oh yeah, and a diet dr pepper

Give me a break -- Its time for me to hang up the carbonated beverages
for awhile. Am I truly making a difference ordering a diet instead of a
regular. Probably not, considering the extra burger I order, because I
subconsciously think the diet soda is saving me calories, more than
makes up for it. And lets be honest here -- the comment I make about
how "she didn't tell me if she wanted cheese on it or not" just so the
cashier doesn't think its all for me is not fooling anybody. Its time I
cut back on the fast food at least a bit -- from now on, at the very
least -- one meal deal, no extra sandwiches/sides/or desserts, and a
diet soda or better yet - water

Its Turkey Thursday

OK -- so we'll call today a small hurdle. For years I would partake in
the Thursday lunchtime ritual of eating the Turkey day feast in the
cafeteria in the 100 S Washington building. I have been gone for just
over a year and ever since starting this new contract with Wells Fargo,
I have been eagerly awaiting the first Thursday that the cafeteria was
open, since last week it was closed for the actual Turkey day
(Thanksgiving). I have to admit that my food for the day has not been
the greatest. A mocha and breakfast sandwich for breakfast and now a
Turkey day lunch. This is going to be harder than I thought. I
mentioned earlier that I had been doing some planning. If I can carry
out this plan successfully, I will be training (using the couch potato
to 5k course) to run a 5K in March. I would then spend the following 15
weeks to train for a half marathon (maybe the Gary Bjorkland at
Grandma's in Duluth on June 16th). If I can pull that off, I would like
to spend the following 15+ weeks preparing for the TC Marathon. I have
had many of these master plans and to be perfectly honest have very
rarely followed through, especially these last few years. But they say
the first step is to write down your goals, so there you go...

Apparently this will take some effort

Well, I quickly realized that crunching the numbers and optimistically planning runs for the following year will not actually lose the weight for me.  I weighed myself a few days ago and I was a disgusting 289.  This morning I weighed myself and I was 291.  That is the wrong direction.  The Holiday season coupled with the new baby has prompted lots of visiters and group occasions and my will power has not exactly been perfect to this point.  I am at a turning point and I hope this blog will help keep me honest.  More later...