I am a very lucky man – I’ve got an amazing wife and am the father to three wonderful kids. Lylli was born on Halloween in 2008, Gracie was born November 2010 and although she only lived for 17 months, she will remain as much a part of this family as the rest of us, and Mickey Gray, our first son, was born in June of 2012. I’m not going to say that life has gone exactly as I would have wanted, but it is a good life and I am determined to make the best of it.

This blog is an attempt to document my quest to become a dad that my family can be proud of.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I've never hurt more than when I see my daughter hurt

This last weekend was tough on friday evening we had to bring my daughter into the ER because she was inconsolable - was screaming for 2 hours and nothing helped - turned out it was probably gas -- she was pretty lethargic on Saturday.  On sunday evening she was wheezing, so after a few calls to the experts, we found ourselves back in the ER at 6:30 pm.  At one point there were four people in the room all wanting to do some sort of test or procedure on my baby.  she was screaming as they held her down.  It was at that point that I realized that with this baby my life will never be the same -- I felt more pain at that instant than I ever have before.  The doctor said the chest x-ray showed a little pneumonia and she also tested positive for RSV.  They checked us into the hospital around 12:30.  I ran home and let the dogs out and got back to the hospital around 1:30.  My amazing wife knew that Lylli would prefer to sleep in her arms, so she somehow managed to climb into this tiny crib and held our baby in her arms while she was hooked up to four probes and oxygen -- around 4 in the morning the nurse finally brought a larger bed and made us promise to take responsibility that she doesn't fall out.  I slept in a recliner in the corner.  my sister in law was able to take care to of the dogs in the morning -- Monday afternoon I went home and gathered some things for our stay, took a shower and played with the dogs a bit and then headed back up to the hospital to spend the night.  Lylli has been getting mucous vacuumed out of her nose and a nebulizer treatment every four hours.  she also has had oxygen fed to her in a "blow by" tube to keep her oxygen levels up.  The antibiotics she was on caused her to have some blood in her diaper, but that issue has been corrected.  Unfortunately with the roads being the way they are, I had to come home tonight because Carrie's sister couln't make it back here from Burnsville.  It is killing me to not be there with them, but its the best for the dogs -- I have to go into the office tomorrow.  The doctor told us this morning that we should plan on having our new years celebration in the hospital, so hopefully she'll be coming home with us on Thursday.  This sure puts things into perspective.  I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to either of them, but know that I am a very lucky man.    

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