I am a very lucky man – I’ve got an amazing wife and am the father to three wonderful kids. Lylli was born on Halloween in 2008, Gracie was born November 2010 and although she only lived for 17 months, she will remain as much a part of this family as the rest of us, and Mickey Gray, our first son, was born in June of 2012. I’m not going to say that life has gone exactly as I would have wanted, but it is a good life and I am determined to make the best of it.

This blog is an attempt to document my quest to become a dad that my family can be proud of.

Friday, April 8, 2011


I’ve been wanting to say something about this for awhile, but as usual have found myself paralyzed because I want to say the exact right thing.  My desire for something profound will have to be set aside and be satisfied with the following rambling – but know this is as heartfelt as I can be -
We met some wonderful families during our stay at Children’s hospital – but there was one family that I felt we connected with on a little deeper level.  They were a very significant part of our stay.  They had twins in August and spent, literally, hundreds of days at the hospital – as sometimes happens with premature twins, one of the babies was much more compromised than the other.   I don’t believe any of us has seen the other’s children in person, but through pictures, stories and following each other’s blogs/caring bridge – I, at least, felt like we got to know the little girls a bit.  We had conversations about doing what you have to do as a parent and that being nothing short of everything in our power to give our kids the best chance.  One of their daughters made it home – the other ended up with them in Texas  – They went right to the best giving her every chance - fighting tooth and nail, but for whatever reason, God decided that he needed Eden with him, and last week, she passed away.  It appears that they have a great support system and I’m sure in all actuality, they didn’t even notice that we weren’t there, but yesterday was her funeral and I laid in bed last night feeling so terrible that we didn’t go – It’s also the first thing that I thought about this morning when I woke up.  I hope they know that we both have been thinking of them constantly this past week , and I’m sorry if it was selfish, but this hit so dang close to home for us that we couldn’t get up the strength to go.  Please don’t take it as any sort of disrespect as our hearts are broken, but we too are travelling across country in a month to give Gracie a chance.  I realize the circumstances are different and I truly believe Gracie is going to make it, but I can’t help but feel like I should have sucked it up and been there yesterday.  One thing I’ve learned in this last year is that life can be unfair – as hard as this has to be for them, I know that they are also beaming with pride to have been the parents to a little girl that taught (and helped by being a donor) so many people so much in her short time on this Earth.  Bless you, Hedin family – and Eden, if you don’t mind, I know you’ve got your hands full up there learning the ropes to become the guardian angel for your sister and family, but if I could ask that you keep an eye on my Gracie from up there, I would truly appreciate it.

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