Well I think it’s all catching up with me – After doing the Heartbeat 5000 5k with the girls (ok not officially, but we were there and visited with people), and having lunch at our favorite local Mexican restaurant, I snuck out of the house on Saturday afternoon to watch some buddies play softball at the local summer festival – I got way too caught up in the moment and the fact that I was given the green light from my wife to stay out and have fun - I had way too many beers from the beer tent – I rarely go out anymore, and besides being a little obnoxious, I was home early (got a ride) and it was harmless fun and frankly, I needed to blow off a little steam, but I need to learn to say “when” because I heard the phrase “we talked about that last night” several times on Sunday from my wife -- I don’t like it when I’m “that guy” and am told by others that they heard I had fun on Saturday – and when the next day I bring up several things that we covered the night before and have no recollection – that’s not good – I’m not saying I’ve got a problem, but I am saying that I am going to be a little more aware the next time I decide to let loose. I woke up Sunday feeling terrible and skipped my long run for the week -- I can’t believe I made the decision to do something that resulted in me missing the most important run of the week for my training -- I was so depressed and ashamed on Monday that I could barely get out of bed. I went into work a little late and spent the whole day in a funk. I guess everybody has those times when they are down on things and I thankfully have managed to stay pretty upbeat over the last several difficult months, but I couldn’t help but feel like I’m letting my family down. Every day, I remind myself of the saying that “you don’t see old fat people” and I am truly trying to make some changes in my life to get myself to a healthy weight, but I think I was way too optimistic about training for this marathon – We’ve got so much going on these days – its difficult enough to try to get back to a “new” normal life after 7 months of hospitals and heart surgeries – but add to that the fact that every day, I’m reminded of how truly out of shape I am – it’s really mentally taking its toll. I don’t think it helps that I am seriously in need of some time away from work – Life has been so stressful this past year and I don’t have the option to take any time off to relax – and believe me, I’ve never needed it more in my life. I went out last night for my scheduled run – although being discouraged by my slow pace and short distance travelled in the 40 minute workout – I did feel a bit better when I was done and am not going to give up on my quest.
No comments:
Post a Comment