I am a very lucky man – I’ve got an amazing wife and am the father to three wonderful kids. Lylli was born on Halloween in 2008, Gracie was born November 2010 and although she only lived for 17 months, she will remain as much a part of this family as the rest of us, and Mickey Gray, our first son, was born in June of 2012. I’m not going to say that life has gone exactly as I would have wanted, but it is a good life and I am determined to make the best of it.

This blog is an attempt to document my quest to become a dad that my family can be proud of.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Gift of Time

Time is the ultimate gift – For example, you could get what you think is the greatest gift for your birthday – but if you don't have any time to enjoy that gift, it means nothing.


My Step Siblings Step Dad (say that five times) passed away several years ago now of ALS.  His last couple years were heartbreaking -- watching a previously able bodied man rapidly lose control of his body.  Because of our unique family dynamics, I wasn't very close to Lee, but I watched from afar and saw how devastating it was to my brother and sister.  One of the things that I admired as he faced his fate was how thankful he was for what he called the "Gift of Time".  From the moment he was diagnosed, he was thankful that he was blessed with the time, albeit way too short – but time, nonetheless, to make peace and say his goodbyes.  The Gift of time... 


If you follow this blog, you've likely seen posts I've made that mention a wonderful family that we met during our first stay at Minneapolis Children's hospital with Gracie.  They, too brought their daughter across the country – doing all they could do to try and make her better, but at 8 months, unfortunately they lost her – Lylli still prays for their daughter in heaven every night at bedtime.  Not a day goes by where I don't think about them – Before our trip, I couldn't help but wonder if we would be facing the same thing – At this point, it looks like Gracie is going to make it – and I'll admit, I'm not even sure what to say to them.  I'm pretty sure if I were them, I'd resent me a little, but at the same time, our story is much different and I know they are happy for us.  Anyway – I still follow their blog and to get back to the theme of this post – As unfair and sad as it is that she did not live a long life here on Earth -- they will forever be thankful for the precious time that they did have with her.  The Gift of Time...   


We were told since Carrie was 12 weeks pregnant with Gracie that she wouldn't make it – even after she was born we were told she didn't have much time – Despite being told a countless number of times by many respected medical professionals that Gracie could not be fixed, we found a surgeon that fixed her – A couple days after her surgery, while meeting with the Cardiologist -- they told us that she was fixed, but we really didn't know what that meant – Carrie said something like "OK doctor – I've been reluctant, but excited to get the answer to this next question for a real long time.  Now that we are done with this surgery, what can you tell me about the length and quality of Gracie's life?"  The doctor looked at her and said "I see no reason why she won't live a long healthy life" – I'm pretty sure the doctors here didn't think she'd even make it this long.  The Gift of Time...


Whether you know how things will end, or lose someone you love more than anything way too early, or are given more time than you were previously given – You've got to agree that the Gift of Time really is an amazing gift – Bottom line is that the amount of time is not guaranteed for any of us, so make the most of the time you have, remember how precious it is, and when you look back on it  - learn from the bad times, but remember only the good.  





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