Our photographer says it’s a rare occasion that she gets to take a second set of pictures of the families that she took pictures of through the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep foundation. Next weekend is the big day of our family photo shoot – this time we won’t be stuck in the corner of Gracie’s NICU room trying to look happy while our newborn daughter is on the ventilator. Hopefully – the weather will cooperate and we’ll be able to be outside somewhere. Because of our upcoming photo session, I was told that I needed to go to the store and find myself a shirt to wear in our family photos. I think, “nothing too pimpish” were my wife’s exact words. Now those that know me know that I’m definitely no mack daddy and my existing body has seriously affected my pride when it comes to my appearance. I think dressing grubby is a defense mechanism – because when I try to look my best, I am usually very disappointed these days. So I went to the Men’s Warehouse – thinking that I’d pick-up a size 20 neck 36/37 dress shirt in a light color to go with the one pair of jeans that fit me. As usually happens in stores like that, I was surrounded by the overdressed sharks who wouldn’t leave me alone – they really should have a class for these guys that teaches them how to read their customers – I would most likely spend more money if these guys didn’t bug me the whole time – because of this I make a point to get in and out as fast as I can instead so these leaches will just leave me the heck alone (Don’t even get me started about car dealerships or Slumberland). Anyway – the guy helping me convinced me that the shirts I was looking at were to be worn only with a tie (despite the fact that I wore one sans tie in our last photo) and steered me in the more casual button up shirts – I did see a few shirts that I liked – I’ve got this uncomfortable prednisone bloat going on (which makes it even worse than my normal uncomfortable fat guy bloat) – the salesman assured me this XXL shirt ran big and it would fit me great, but I figured I better try it on to be safe. I grabbed the same shirt in a couple different color/patterns and went into the dressing room – tried it on and looked like 10 lbs of you know what in a 5 lb bag – that’s right – the shirt he assured me would be roomy enough for me fit me like a glove – unfortunately it was a doctors glove. I was so absolutely mortified that I walked out of the dressing room and told him I’ll take this one -- bought one of them anyway and now it sits in the back of my closet – I guess we’ll call it the first of my goal shirts.
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