Buck

 

I now know why you had to go.

Although it seemed that you had a lot more time left here with us.

There were other, more important, things for you to do that weren't clear to me when we recently said our "goodbyes".

You made sure we were ok and left me and the other dogs to take care of my wife and daughter.

Why did I have to lose my best friend, the one that would never hurt a soul, the one that would never let me down?

Its clear now, it was so you could get there a little early to prepare the place and be ready if what the doctors say is true

To watch over our unborn child until I see you both again someday.

 

Thanks Buddy, I owe you one

RIP Buck

I lost my best friend yesterday.
 
Every morning my wife gets out of bed before I do. For years, this gave my dog, Buck, the opportunity to sneak up and lay next to me for awhile. That did not happen today and will never happen again. Yesterday, I had to make the decision for Buck to never wake up from his exploratory surgery. We were hoping to find a toy or something to explain why his plumbing stopped working suddenly. His bowels were consumed with Cancer and up until a week ago, he had shown no signs at all. Buck had been my dog since November of 2000 and would have been 10 this year. I rescued him when he was 4 weeks old. He was a very handsome yellow lab/chesapeke mix with a large frame and broad chest - A beautiful dog. Without disrespecting anybody that I've lost in my life, losing Buck is the hardest loss that I've ever had to deal with. Its crazy - no funeral - no nothing -- I'm supposed to walk into the vet clinic with him and out with his collar and leash. I want to be left alone, but at the same time, out of respect for him, I want a big deal to be made of his death.  Some might say, he was just a dog, but right now especially, to me he was so much more.  I guess this is my way to passively deal with this. He helped me through some really tough times. For awhile it was just he and I. He was my family and he unconditionally loved me even in those times in my life where I didn't deserve it. He was my best friend. As I held him alone in the surgery room after the vet gave him that fatal syringe full of pink fluid, I cried and said to him that I hope I did him justice. I regret a few things. Buck was not the squeaky wheel. I have a wife and 17 month old daughter, a collie X with Cerebellar Hypoplasia (very high maintenance), a beagle X with an attitude - currently wearing an E-collar for a puncture she received in her inner leg, a rescued ex-bait dog pit bull with rotting teeth, and a 200 + lb mastiff. In our "pack", it was easy to not give as much attention to Buck because he was such a good dog. He let the other high maintenance crew, eat first, push their way in for affection, etc. - he never had accidents or destroyed anything, and would never hurt anything. I've seen puppies chew on his ears and Lylli poke him in the eyes while saying "Buck's Eyes". I don't know whether to keep typing and turn this into cliche like Marley and Me memoire or to stop - so I guess I'll stop. But I do want to say - I understand that I am writing this for myself in an attempt to deal with this loss, but if, by chance anybody does read this -- if you have a dog -- remember as you get consumed with the rest of your busy life -- that while you go to work and shuttle the kids around racing from here to there to meet all of your obligations, that to the dog that you are ignoring to do all of this --- you are its life! So, please remember that.
Goodbye Buck - I Miss you and will see you again someday

blue tooths and ipods make it hard to spot the Crazies

maybe it has to do with the MN winter and the fact that everybody has hats and head bands on that makes this so difficult, but while the streets fill up with people at the end of the day downtown It brings up some observations.  It occurred to me yesterday as I walked along side a guy towards my parking garage for a few blocks -- sure he had some chords dangling out from under his headband where his ears would be, but the whole time we walked, he was having a conversation and a quite animated one.  I never was able to tell if he had headphones in his ears and he was having a conversation with himself or were they from some sort of blue tooth device and he was actually a sane person merely multitasking.  I will never know and have found myself wondering the same thing about others... Don't even get me started about the number of times I've answered someone who was talking to someone on his/her blue tooth

As I sit here in this vacant office downtown the day after Thanksgiving, I can't help but think of the pride that Chimo must have when as when he sees his mom's Facebook status full of Sh** boms and love of Walmart or should I say "Wallyworld".  Happy Thanksgiving everyone  

5 weeks from yesterday

It occurred to me last night as I was trying to go to bed while my eyes burned from the icy hot that I had all over my shins and calves that the Twin Cities 10 mile is just under 5 weeks away

Things are getting better my workout on Sunday consisted of:

4 miles run nonstop
1 mile walk
1 mile run
.5 mile walk
.5 mile run
.5 mile walk

For a total of 7.5 miles -- I've got a LONG WAY to go!!

I want a "Book Club"

Ok - now that I've got your attention, don't be too shocked -- I don't planning on reading anymore than I have to, but this whole book club gimmick that women have today is pretty ingenious.  There are only 4 Fridays a month and especially in the summer, most of the weekend nights (including fridays) are booked.  This eliminates the opportunity for me to do anything with my biddies.  But because book club is scheduled one friday every month -- that means that I get to stay home with the baby while she goes to one of the hens house to drink wine and talk about everything besides the book -- don't get me wrong, quality time with my daughter is something I treasure, but it makes me bitter that I don't have a catchall standing excuse to hang out with my buddies at least one friday a month.  The thing that is brilliant about this book club thing is that because they have to put effort into reading the book all month, they are emotionally invested in the book club meeting.  I'm afraid if I organized something like this - there wouldn't be that same commitment because I didn't read a book or whatever and would be difficult to skip a family obligation or something without having investing in the meeting by reading the book.  I was in an investment club briefly several years ago, but was so bad with my money at the time that I sold my part to a friend to get out --regret #7,495 from my single days  (bygones).  An investment club might have some legs -- that way I could say that I researched all month for the meeting.  I also thought of cards, but that would be lacking the investment leading up to the mandatory meeting night.  Exotic beer night - everyone could bring a 6 pack of something out of the ordinary they've found?  Brewing beer? Anyone have any ideas?  At the very least I figure, if I can't figure out a guys version of a book club, I figure I should be able to get an annual Canadian fishing trip out of this by saying -- "Hey, all I ask for is this one long weekend, you get book club all year long"