Bodey

I've been involved in Dog rescue for many years.  I've had many foster animals in my home.  Carrie and I have played Santa and the Mrs several times for the pet rescue events over the years.  I've even been a board member for group.  About four years ago, I stumbled upon a puppy in Fort Dodge Iowa with Cerebellar Hypoplasia that had been in a kennel his whole life.  He was one of a litter of collie X's - half of which suffered from this condition.  My heart sank for this little guy – the last of the litter to find a home --  he was overlooked by everyone and after learning more about his zest for life, I couldn't let him spend another day alone in a kennel.  Despite having several dogs of our own, Carrie and I brought him into our home.  We changed his name from Tipsy to Bodey (felt demeaning).  I must admit that I may have been thinking more with my heart than my head.  Many people still ask me why this dog has not been euthanized, but if you could see his smile, you'd understand. 

 

He is potty trained (maybe an accident once every couple months just because it's hard for him to get out by himself at our home).  He loves everybody, especially kids - not to mention everybody that meets Bodey, once they get past the goofy gate, can't help but smile because he gets so excited to meet people.   I have been struggling with what is the best for him for awhile now -- unfortunately, our home is not set up the best for him and I find that he often gets lost in the mix sitting in a corner because he can't get around very well - he does a bit better in the grass, but as he grows older, he is becoming less and less mobile no matter what the terrain.    I wish we could pack up and move somewhere better for him, but given the economy and our current situation, moving is not an option.  If it was just a matter of the physical environment, we could probably make it work – I mean, we have to this point.  I sometimes wonder about his quality of life – I guess I had these grand illusions that he would just walk a little different, but still be able to get around – I wonder how he feels these days laying in the same spot for hours at a time until we pick him up to move him to the next spot that he will most likely lay in for several hours.  He isn't a small dog either – so carrying him around is a bit more challenging than if he were a yorkie.  I know that Carrie is concerned about the amount of effort it takes for her to move him while she is going through this volatile pregnancy – she shouldn't carrying him outside, but when I'm not there (she is the first to get home by an hour or two everyday) she can't just let him sit there after laying inside all day -- He's gotta go outside just as bad as the rest of them.  I can't risk anything happening to Carrie or the baby.     

 

I am so torn on what to do with Bodey – I've had to make decisions to have amazing animals put down because of owners that say they will give an animal a home and then decide because things change they no longer have a place in their home.  We have three other dogs that we're not getting rid of – Bodey is the one with the most special needs.  I think about the fact that soon, I will be the father of a girl with Special needs and will I love her any less because of it?  Absolutely not!  I feel like such a hypocrite considering sending Bodey to an animal sanctuary to live out his life?  I just know that when Gracie arrives, we will be relying on family and friends to take care of our animals while we spend the many hours at the hospital – Asking them to Let the dogs in and out and give them food and water is much less demanding than asking them to carry Bodey out and in and if he steps or lays in his waste to wash him up and carry him back in. 

 

"Home for Life" is an animal sanctuary in Wisconsin that takes in animals to live out their lives – most of these animals have special needs.  It's a great place, in theory, but after we toured it, we felt that it would definitely take 2^nd to a home with a family.  However, they do work with the animals with mobility issues and have a staff there 24 hours a day.  Bodey is a lot of responsibility – when we toured the facility a couple of months ago, we both agreed that Bodey would be one of the most involved animals at the sanctuary.  At the time, we decided that we couldn't send him there and needed to make him work in our home – but since then, as Nov 25^th approaches, I don't think we can do it much longer.  Of course, there are financial considerations for this option – this would be a minimum of $100 a month to send Bodey to live there.  Well worth the money, but I struggle to make that commitment as well considering all of the unknowns that we face with Gracie – Carrie may need to take a leave from work – which would make us a single income family – the $100 a month in that case could help a lot towards our family's monthly bills.    

Very Well Said!

She leaves alone for 20 minutes and...

I got home from work the other night and Carrie had dinner ready for us -- It was such a beautiful night that we decided to eat on the picnic table out on the back patio.  Dinner went pretty much as usual -- I spent my time trying to figure out how I could get the last piece of chicken from the pregnant wife without seeming like the fatty, Lylli insisted on drinking her milk from a cup without a top (which works well for a few minutes until she dumps it into her sectioned plate and then starts drinking from the ketchup and milk combo sludge that makes daddy gag), and Carrie pleasantly reflected on their mother/daughter day.  Carrie offered to run up to Dairy Queen for a treat and told me to stay with Lylli and play since I hadn't seen her all day.  I'm on call for work and about 5 minutes after Carrie left, my phone rang -- luckily, it was just a coworker explaining to me that she succesfully fixed the issue that had woke me up just before four that morning and assured me that I wouldn't be getting called the next morning (for that issue at least).  As she was explaining what she did, Lylli decided to drag a small plastic end table from the deck into the kitchen (goes with her two matching adirondack chairs made for little kids).  I turned just in time to see her standing on it while reaching way up on the fridge for her favorite puppy dog magnet as it started sliding out from under her.  I managed to lunge for her and sort of break her fall but she did still fall on her face.  We both sat in silence for a sec - me waiting for the wail and her waiting to see if it was worth it -- As I expected, she started screaming -- I quickly told my coworker, thank you, but I had to go!!  She lifted her head and stumbled to her feet with her hands covering her head, franticly screaming for mommy -- there was nothing I could do to console her -- she kept holding her face.  I started wondering if she was really hurt -- in a last ditch effort, I asked if she needed a bandaid -- in a full fledge cry, struggling to speak, she managed to tell me "YES!"   I carried her into the bathroom and got out a bandaid, unwrapped it and pulled her hands away from her mouth  - I asked, OK baby, where should I put the bandaid -- She completely stopped crying, pointed and said "My Leg" - I laughed, put the bandaid on her leg - she turned to me said "all better" and walked out of the bathroom as if nothing ever happend.

We Can Do This

I'll admit that, for me, it does get a little scarier each day, but as we get closer to the arrival of Gracie, it becomes more and more obvious that we are perfect for the job.  Its almost spooky how everything has pointed us in this direction.  As a special education teacher, Carrie has spent a lot of time with children who have Down Syndrome.  The first few years that I knew her (until Lylli was born), she would spend the week after school got out as part of the professional team at a camp, in northern MN, specifically for teens and young adults with Down Syndrome.  Five years ago, her good friend and co-teacher, Tracy, had a son with Down Syndrome -- They found out that Will had it the day he was born and we watched as the short period of time following his diagnosis went from fear and shock to happiness and joy - Tracy is now the head of a group for parents of children with Down Syndrome and has paved our way.  She is always there when needed -- and guess what?  The parent group meets right at Carrie's school.  We have had kids with down syndrome in our home for extended periods of time and even considered adoption/fostering.  I cannot tell you how many times prior to Gracie's diagnosis that I had seen Carrie looking at Reece's rainbow website (A site dedicated to adopting children with Down Syndrome from other countries).  And to top it all off, last fall Carrie graduated with her Masters in Early Childhood special education -- which means from birth on.    I'll admit, this whole thing scares the heck out of me, but if I have to go on this journey, I can't think of a better partner to have.  I see how wonderful of a mommy that she is to Lylli and am certain that when Gracie arrives, as long as Carrie is there to help me out, she is going to be in great hands.        

 

I am humbled by all of our family and friends that have been here to support us as we prepare for Gracie's arrival.  We have so much to be thankful for!    

 

 

Walking with Grace 2010

On September 26th we'll be participating in the annual walk for Down Syndrome.  For several years we have walked with Carrie's co-teacher's (and close friend) team in support for her son, Will.  We often run into some of Carrie's current and former students and their families (for those that don't know Carrie is an elementary special education teacher -- she has had many students with Ds).  It used to be called the Buddy Walk, but now in MN its called Stepping Up for Down Syndrome (some legal thing I guess).  Anyway -- it’s a real cool day for people in the community that have been touched by Down Syndrome.  It takes place at Como Park in St Paul.  They have food and a dj (you'd be missing out if you made the walk and didn't take a moment to appreciate the dancers on the dance floor at this event).  The Walk is a short jaunt around the lake, but is just a small part of why we are all there.  This year it has a whole new meaning to us.  We are excited that some of our family and friends will be joining us to celebrate the pending arrival of Gracie and help raise money for the Down Syndrome Association of MN .  It is our intent to continue to make this an annual event, but this year, for the first time, we will be walking as team "Walking With Grace".  We are very much looking forward to the day. 

 

 

 

Incoherent ramblings

Clueless and Innocent Toddler, Young kid witnessing the divorce and all of the mudslinging that entails, travelling back and forth every weekend,

Latch key kid, never really getting close to either side of my family, Insecure, trying to fit into new school after school.  I've had my heart broken a couple times by both girls and athletics.  I've been fit and fat, fashionable and obviously not.  I've been a runner and a weight lifter and a couch potato, a drunk and dry.  I've had extra money and been flat broke.  I've lived in a townhome, an apartment, brand new house, and now in a small old house.  I've lived alone and with others.  I think about all of the things that have felt so terrible that in the end turned out to be not as bad as I thought they were at the time.  I think about how I've hurt others unintentionally due to my insecurities and the fact that all of the places that I've been in my life have resulted in kind of a screwed up man in some aspects.  I'm cranky, short tempered, selfish, irritable and obnoxious at times - I need to take better care of myself and for the last several years have talked way more about it than done anything.  When I reread this I realize that I've kind of been focusing on the negative, but I do know that I have a lot of positive aspects and have had many great experiences in my life.    I think about all of the lives that I've lived and my life now - I think about how lucky of a man I am -- The most obvious things to point out here is that I have Carrie and Lylli.  Carrie is a saint to put up with me and I truly do know that.  She is beautiful, intelligent, and very calm - In many ways my opposite, but it sounds better when I say she's my perfect compliment instead of opposite.  And Lyl - what a blessing she has been - smart, funny, beautiful -- I look at her everyday and thank God for allowing Carrie and I to bring such an amazing person into this world.  I think about all of the events that were important to others that I didn't participate in because of where I was at personally at different points in my life -  I failed to see the importance of my support.  I see it now.  I'm not pouting or doing a whoa is me, I know that I've done many good things in my life, and I know that it does me no good now to dwell on when I've made bad choices in the past.  But I can learn from them and once again, I see it now.  Its not about instant gratification or living a selfish life, its about being a good friend, husband, dad, brother, son, cousin, uncle.  Its about leaving things better than I found them.  Its about doing things that fill others' buckets instead of emptying them.  Its about making the best of what I've been dealt -- A lot has happened this last year that has forced me to do a lot of thinking, the largest being the pending arrival of Gracie - and as I've said before, she's not even here yet and she's making me want to become a better man.  So, I want to thank everybody that has ever been in my life in any way.  I pray that I have been a positive part of yours and for those of you that I have hurt in any way by my actions conscious or unconscious, I am truly sorry and promise to work on it in the future

 

 

 

 

 

big girl bed

Saturday was a big day/night in the Delaney household (oh how times have changed).  Since Carrie doesn't start teaching again for a few weeks and life will most likely be chaotic when Gracie arrives, not to mention, probably the biggest reason, that we only have one crib -- we decided that it was time for Lylli to start sleeping in a bed.   We went to Target and let her pick out sheets, a blanket, and pillow case.  When we put her down for an afternoon nap, I went and bought her a twin mattress.  Later that day, we took the crib out of the room, rearranged a bit and setup her new bed - Actually at this point, we just put the mattress on the floor, which based on the thud we heard when she eventually slept in it, it was a good decision to start this way.   We have a retractable gate on her door that we use to keep the dogs away when she is playing in there, etc.  This gate is a livesaver these days, because its nothing for her to open the door.  Anyway - Bedtime was a challenge.  It took many attempts of setting her in her bed, closing the door and walking away -- only to have her two minutes later open the door and cry at the top of her lungs -- I think she was less scared and sad, then she was exploring the fact that she was not locked into a crib for the first time in her 22 months (although I know for a fact that she could anytime she wanted, climb out of the crib, we fortunately never had it happen).  After about an hour of trying to get her to sleep she finally quieted down.  Escited to see how things ended up, I tiptoed down the hall to take a look -- I had just left the bright living room and her room was dark, so I was having a tough time seeing her.  As I leaned in over the gate to get a better look, I heard a little sigh at my feet.  I called Carrie over -- she took a picture.  See the attached BEFORE and AFTER pics.  We were able to eventually move her to her bed where she lasted several hours until she wanted to come into bed with us.  Quick update to the story -- I came home from work on Monday and she was so excited to show me her new bed and night number three saw a little less crying and screaming out the door, but I will admit we were still second guessing our decision a bit.  But I am very happy to report that last night, night #4, she barely whined, never opened the door and then slept until after 6 this morning!!